Sir Gundog and his whinging cur of a sidekick Sir Ian of Hemsworth, a beancounter with long womanly fingers have asked me to put together a guide for those virgins (and I use the term advisedly) who have yet to experience the splendour and wassailing that make up a national conference. Whilst it is not the prose to which my pen is of nature drawn, nor the patents of nobility for which lowly knights are apt to pay handsomely, I have agreed to spout forth in an effort to educate those Tablers and Circlers who may at some stage buy me a beer!!
The AGMs of RTBI and NALC are to be held on Saturday the 10th of May. To save you all from the weary trek to fairest Leeds only to hear Graham and Michelle conduct the business of our great associations, a great and varied weekend has been planned, all of which includes local potent brews and entertainment to blow off your very leggings. I shall elucidate!
There will be evening shindigs as followeth:
Thursday the 8th of May – The international supper
Attending our AGMs there will be various inhabitants of foreign shores. These speakers of otherworldly tongues are honoured at our first evening event. This will be a dinner held at the Leeds Town Hall, a truly fabulous venue where these visitors will be lauded with great praise for travelling, probably on camels, elephants and palanquins across scorching deserts, shoreless seas and the frozen wastes of upper Scandinavia. There’ll be a fine meal, a real Yorkshire band and the opportunity for several snifters before the bar closeth and we return to our various high class hovels for a few more snifters. It’s not just for these offcumd’uns though. It’s our chance to show them a proper British welcome and you can dress either in lounge suites or in whatever passes for your local dress! (For you Yorkshire folk, please leave t’whippet at home)
Friday the 9th of May – Presidential Ball
Now then lads and lasses all, this is not to be missed. This is a black tie ball to celebrate the last day in office of our outgoing Presidents, Graham and Michelle. It’ll be a corker. There’ll again be a great quality meal and live bands to knock spots off Black Lace. It’ll be in the brand new Saviles Hall and we’ve tried to lay on a night that you’ll remember for the right reasons for the rest of your lives. The venue is perfect, the food will be spot on and the bands will have even the most leaden footed dancing with unbridled joy. Don’t miss out because this will be a stormer.
Saturday the 10th of May – AGMs
Up early boys and girls for the AGM will be under way by 9.30am. The RTBI AGM in the Savile Hall, the NALC AGM in the Bury Theatre in the Royal Armouries. Both are on the same site and so you can meet up with the stud or filly you met last night (or failing that your husband or wife) and lunch either at The Armouries or in one of the café bars round about. The AGMs usually finish between 3 and 4 o’clock giving you ample time for a couple of libations before changing into fancy dress or other casual attire for the Saturday Night Feast. The detail is in the title, it’ll be on Saturday night and there’ll be a feast again in the Savile Hall. More bands, more wassailing and dancing till you drop.
There are hotels with whom Sir Ian has done deals and these can be found by following the link from the website booking section. You’ll not go far wrong with them and they are of differing costs and levels of comfort. The magnificent Queens Hotel where the Royals themselves will be staying is to be Conference HQ and is a 4* hotel offering excellent value right in the middle of the city. The Etap (peasant class) is the cheapest and is only 400 yards from the Royal Armouries and there are various hotels between these. All hotels are in the city centre and some are served by buses which we provide to get you to and from the venues. The rest are served by pony (Shanks’s).
Pin back thy lugholes! You may be surprised to know that you can do all three evening functions and stay for three nights for the sum of £256.35 per person. Or, to compare it with NSW, you can enjoy the two nights’ quality entertainment (Friday and Saturday) plus the Saturday evening meal plus hotel for only £150.90. Have a butchers at the booking form and you can choose what you want to do. Some areas go to dinner elsewhere on the Saturday night and join the party later at the Armouries. That’s ok but we’ve put extra effort into Saturday night’s fare so that you will find our gaffe hard to beat!
The Conference Pass contributes to much of the infrastructure of the weekend, including entertainment, transport, stewarding, publicity and so on along with a small contribution towards the staging of the AGMs. It’s a necessary evil and, yes (we’re sorry) it is compulsory if you intend to take part in any of the events over and above the AGMs themselves. The Pass gives you access to the late night parties on all three nights so you can enjoy the top class entertainment provided. We realise that the Pass can appear expensive when looked at in isolation, but it is merely one component of the overall Conference Package. If you compare the total cost of attending Leeds Conference, including the excellent hotel deals, you will see that it represents significantly better value than those in recent years. (This last paragraph was written by Sir Ian, the bean counter and a man with a silken purse full of shiny beads. It is thin on entertainment value and sharp and pointy like the man himself!!)
Obviously RTBI and NALC do not condone the overuse of alcohol. However, you may feel the need for a loosener every now and then. The beer up North is cheap!! Even in the venues the prices will be around £2.70 per pint and in the great metropolis that is Leeds cheaper still can be found. And get this – there may be alcohol served at the RTBI AGM. Don’t tell Marchesi House – it’s a secret!!
You’ll have your eyes opened to a whole new world of Tabling and Circling. You’ll meet loads of new people, you’ll see what others get up to in their spare time, you’ll never stop partying from arrival to departure and you’ll live a whole weekend with a stupendous hangover just waiting to crush your skull.
Join us in Leeds, live a lot!!
Elijah Chaucer, Bard to Sir Gundog